Tail end of Winter, dawn of Spring and the Sakura Matsuri

My "little leather life" as of late has been fairly busy, though I've not been blogging it. Instead of attempting to catch up, I'll just make a brief note of our travels yesterday and other upcoming events, some Leather, others being more seasonally inspired.

Sir and I headed down into Washington D.C. yesterday for the Crucible's 18th biannual LF&P (Leather Flea and Play,) which as I've noted here before when writing about it, is more commonly referred to as the "elephant pee," hence the elephant logo.

We had originally thought we might be bringing a friend along with us this Spring but travel plans fell through and it turned into a nice event for just the two of us.

It was well into the afternoon by the time we arrived, a slight drizzle was coming down, but it seemed plenty crowded none-the-less.

I was on a mission of sorts, after some rope. We're going to make it to Shibaricon this year come hell or high water (after our thwarted attempt last year), so this was going to be one of my last chances to catch Rainbow Rope in person before we head towards Chicago.

We found some nice blue MFP for Sir, and a nice 50' piece of Blue and Black all of which came home with us. Afterwards we wandered a bit, looked at knives, but didn't quite see anything that felt quite right.

At one point, I did see someone across the room that we had met at Black Rose last Autumn, but by the time we had come back around she was nowhere to be seen. So this was yet another flea where we weren't really finding familiar faces.

We stumbled headlong into a happy surprise as we made our way towards the door. When we had come in through the library area it had been a mob scene and so we figured we'd come back through on our way out. Well sure enough, just as we were getting ready to leave we finally stumbled headlong into the "unique" and custom that I try to keep my eyes out for when we go to the Fleas.

Wooden canes (among other tools) with bone handles. Lovely, natural materials with soft leather work carefully bringing the pieces together. Sir said they felt really good in his hand and the balance felt wonderful.

My ex-wife and I used to discuss the importance of tools and how it was not merely about feeling amazing on the "receiving" end of a whip, but also about how a tool feels in the hand of one who wields it. Those conversations led her to create an incredibly special whip, one that will never be used on anyone else. It remains as a physical legacy of our time together.

These canes embodied that same spirit. One is long, the shaft a carefully polished hickory, the other a much shorter purple heartwood, perfect for intimate work. Stumbling into special pieces like these is precisely part of the reason we go to the fleas and vendors rooms at events.

I protected our newfound treasures from the rain as we wandered back to our vehicle. All notions of a trip to the National Arboretum or even a quick drive around the tidal basin to see how far along the sakura blossoms were fell by the wayside in the bleakness of the rainy afternoon.

Instead, we stopped back by one of my old neighborhoods for good pizza and beer and just plain spending some time together, talking on into the evening. The drive back home in the rain made a perfect end to the day.

In other news, we are looking forward to DC and Philly's Sakura Matsuri both this month and in April. (Click here to see more information about this year's DC featured poster artist, Carol Tomasik. I love this year's design!)

We celebrate every year, welcoming the cherry blossoms and marking the occasion is part of our Household. Along our way back home yesterday, we saw a few trees already in bloom, so I suppose I can at long last break out the Sakura incense.

For just a few short weeks each year the whole house smells of the blossoms and incense, and I take long hot baths in Sakura bath salts. The tub gets filled with pink water and I listen to lots of koto and shakuhachi music. It is all part of how we shake off the last of Winter. For now, I'm trying to decide what events over the course of the festivals we'll actually make it to.

We have also made the decision to go to the (first ever!) Charm City Fetish Fair near Baltimore. I'm actually very excited about the event, in part because I'll be having a number of friends from out of state coming in for the event. We're working to schedule meals and possibly sleepovers, and other such around the edges of the event. It should be a good time.

So we've been keeping busy.

January and February have also been important months in terms of my "little Leather life", but I will leave those stories to another post.

BESS- "Shibari"

So once again we decided to head out to the Wednesday night BESS educational meeting, this time focusing on "Shibari" (kinbaku or kinbaku-bi.)

Not surprisingly, the room was packed. Makes me wonder when this area is going to get around to some kind of mid-Altantic rope group, (though I certainly haven't the time to start one.)

As I've done before, I'll cut and paste the description, more for my own benefit and memory than any other reasons,.

Oct 15th, Shibari presented by Arthur-

Shibari is the Japanese art of stylized ritualistic bondage. Arthur will undertake to demonstrate and instruct the basic methods of limb bondage, torso bondage, hand and foot bondage and to integrate them all or portions of them into a coherent whole for a scene. During the demo he will discuss the history of Shibari here and in Japan and recommend books for further reading.

Arthur: Arthur is an experienced Dominant Top with many years in the lifestyle both in NYC and Baltimore. He has taught on numerous subjects and truly enjoys the interaction of the demo and the classroom. He lives with his girl, nina and daisy, their ginormus dog. He currently makes a living as an Alternative Haberdasher as the 3 of them run PowerXchange by nina, Baltimore's Alternative Clothing Store.

(Here's the link for powerXchange by Nina .)

All in all I think it was a pretty good 101 overview. As Sir put it, perhaps the most beneficial aspect of it was simply having the luxury of someone comfortable working with rope going through the ties step by step. While we've certainly seen such before, it never ceases to inspire.

I often have an easier time dealing with some of the spacial awareness aspects of rope than Sir, so as he said, simply watching Arthur was useful.

I also always enjoy watching a demo model with a great amount of flexibility undergo some of the more strenuous poses. Knowing that I am simply physically incapable of doing some of the stances, it's still interesting to watch those who can.

On the other hand, knowing the limitations of my body is also why I am interested in some of the more 'adaptive ropework' workshops. Kinbaku, when it is really 'successful' to my eye at least is deeply personal rather than formulaic. When ropes and body work together forming a coherent whole, (even, or perhaps especially when designed for discomfort,) is when I find the interplay most beautiful.

In any case, through the course of the evening Arthur explained a variety of ties and kept the rope moving.

I should also mention that last September was the first time we wandered into a BESS meeting, so we've been around the edges, attending the occasional meeting for slightly more than a year now.

We are not members and probably unlikely to become such as we value our GDI nature and honestly have little time.

It's an interesting mix, while there is definitely a Queer presence, it feels the way many geographically based groups do. It is likely a bit more familiar and comfortable for Sir in some ways than it is for me.

Then again, he might feel equally 'slightly out of place' at Queer centric Leather events.

Both Black Rose and BESS being some of the larger and somewhat public gateway groups in the general area, it's very much the cultural norm for what's semi local to us. While not exactly 'involved' in either, this will be our second year at a BR event and we've made it to at least a few BESS educational meetings over the past year.

It seemed important to note.

Travel and household notes

It's been a bit since I last posted. I've been quite busy.

Sir and I are just back from three days out at the Shore, a micro vacation of sorts. Days of lazily enjoying the beach, nights of rather intense lovemaking. All in all, I've come home very relaxed and happy, that post good sex glow that seems to leave me floating through the day or days after.

We had originally intended to spend some time out at the beach working with some rope. Books to study and be inspired by and hemp were packed, all set. But we never quite got around to it. No doubt we'll find some time to 'practice' before Shibaricon, it's just these particular days had a different flavour to them- more spontaneous.

That said, several potentially rope related good things have finally come together here around the household. The first being some years ago we had purchased a cast iron bed frame with the original intent being that it would be for a bedroom area off a 'dungeon' sort of area. Well, that part of the house got 'commandeered' for other projects so to this day, we are rather 'dungeonless'. The bed frame sat, still in boxes for years, (in no small part probably due to the fact that the other beds around the house are four posters.)

Instead of waiting for everything to come together the way I wanted, I finally simply decided I'd rather have it up than in boxes, so the bed frame has now been added to a bed already in a spare bedroom. Why all the fuss? Tie points/anchor points. The bed frame is rock solid and a perfect 'canvas' to do rope work with.

While it may not be up in its final home, (wherever that will turn out to be,) it is a small step towards 'not waiting anymore'. That feels good.

The second potentially rope related bit of furniture has just arrived. After Floating World last year Sir and I sort of had an ongoing discussion about furniture, frames, structures, etc. As our primary work space is a bedroom, we've had to try to come to compromises about tools staying out, the advantages of things being close at hand, vs. tools being carefully stored in a very organized fashion for easy access. Structures have taken a bit of thought.

So for a first real piece of 'dungeon' related furniture, we've settled on a thermal and thickly padded top portable massage table. It folds away when we want it to, but quickly sets up and is wonderfully solid. We can lower it down to 24" if we choose, and it has plenty of good attachment points for rope or other such bonds.

Essentially, it will serve as a solid platform for everything from rope work to cuttings, canings to floggings. I often find I can take more lying down than standing bound to a frame. Lying down helps the muscles relax more, and it can be more comfortable for Sir as gravity does some of the work. Also lying down can protect against some forms of wrap (not that we seem to have a problem with such, I just thought I'd mention it for readers.)

So we have new bits of structure to try out. I'm excited to see what predicaments Sir's creativity puts me in.

In a final bit of news, we've registered for Floating World (II) in August. It's months away, but we're already looking forward to it!

Winter Fetish Fair Fleamarket XXX

So the Flea is over, and we've headed on.

It had its moments, both good and well, to be perfectly frank, rather pathetic.

In the positive column; , stumbling across an old friend, spending a few brief minutes in the bullwhip lounge, interesting discussions between Sir and I sparked by workshops we went to, silk, flax, and hemp ropes, a new singletail, and even some new leather, (for later, that I've not earned yet), and a major 'plus', Providence, Rhode Island and the hotels, convention center, etc.

A good hotel experience can go a long way towards serving as a bulwark against not such good parts of an event. Providence itself was also a real win, and doubly so in light of the Fetish Fair Flea's previous experiences in Massachusetts.

By way of a middle column, somewhere between positives and negatives, or more accurately as a mix of both, we were fortunate enough to be able to attend all three of Midori's workshops; "Asian Rituals for Western Lovers", "Bondage Outside the Box", and "Make 'em Blush, Make 'em Squirm: Erotic Humiliation Play". All three were useful in terms of some of the conversations Sir and I ended up having, both good and bad.

But part of the real 'mixed bag'-ness of the three workshops was the 'massive herd' mentality that led to long lines to get in, tons of people, and naturally, the settings the workshops were in provided very few seats that actually afforded full views of what was going on. Thus, most audience members heard the presentations but could not see much of what was happening. Such could have been avoided in several ways, but for each of the three workshops, the same scenario played out.

In the negative column; certain aspects of some of the presentations, Some of the ways 'pros' were just woven through the event (in not so good ways), poorly woven whip handles, and I suppose my personal 'low' award for the event- a presenter who couldn't be bothered to show up on time for her own workshop due to... broken nails and an emergency quest for a manicurist. This from a woman whose website says, and I quote "don't waste my time", perhaps she might consider taking her own advice. (I've no qualms about naming names, as the workshop and presenter was publicly available on the FFF XXX website- "Mistress LunaSea")

Now I've seen everything. Suffice it to say, we felt no need to 'bottom' to her by waiting around to see whether or not she'd show up- so in the end I've no idea whether any form of the workshop managed to go forward or not, if it did, it went forward late and without us.

No presenter should ever need be tracked down by the event organizers AFTER the time their workshop was due to start, only to be reminded they had a workshop. D'oh. No, I wasn't impressed.

Sir and I also intentionally wandered into the 101 style "BDSM for beginners" for a number of reasons, not the least of which being trying to understand the 'intake path' many of today's newcomers are experiencing. (By way of readily admitting my own biases here, I've taught 101 workshops in the past.) I may or may not eventually get to writing about such, but for the time being, simply consider this another tidbit we both felt best deserved the negative column- and unfortunately the ramifications of such will continue to echo forward. More so still, in that this particular presentation has been an entry point for people in many times and places.

If I sound cynical and somewhat jaded, it's only because in some ways, I most certainly am.

On the other hand, as we somehow almost always seem to, Sir and I still managed to make some very high quality "us" time, which makes even broken nail absurdity somehow not only bearable, but something I'm just able to dismiss as the pathetic current state of affairs in some corners of 'The Scene'.

While I'm still glad I went, I am not sure I'd feel the need to return in the near future. That may be more a reflection of where Sir and I stand, though. The workshops we attended in many ways felt very 'beginner', and most of what was available at the market itself were things, and often dealers that in our travels we had seen over and over. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but for us, either visiting the brick and mortar stores when possible, or using online ordering takes care of most of what we would want from such.

Fortunately, though, there was the happy exception or two. I spend time at marketplaces like this looking for the unique, the unusual, and the custom. Radiance Bound for example was doing some lovely metallic work, very appropriate to formal Leather occasions, and some of Madame Butterfly's handmade silk rope came home with us.

The final thing to note about the FFF is that for 'outsiders' (those from out of New England for example), there is no main dungeon or 'play party' as part of the event, so what goes on, usually happens via pre-existing loose networks of friends or NE Leather organizations in private spaces. Without an 'in', you'll have to resort to a private evening in your own hotel room.

While this was absolutely fine for Sir and I (and yes, had we wanted to attend a party, that could have been arranged, we were not interested in such, this time, anyway) other people may find the 'barriers to entry' a bit high. It would be better to get to know people and build ties to organizations prior to the event if gaining an invitation to a party is important to you.



*** Addendum- there was an article Sunday in the Providence Journal- "Sex-Toy Trade Show Sports a Global Face".

I'm not altogether sure quite what I make of the article's angle, the 'sex toy biz'/"trade show", but apparently that was how the Journal understood the event. Clearly, they missed the fact that while the shopping is a major part of the event, what with being in the name and all, the real action had little to do with vendors. Most participants spent time in workshops or in hotel rooms practicing said newly acquired skills.

To simplify the flea down to a story about the American vs. Chinese sex toy industry and label the event a 'trade show' was just, well bizarro-world, though it certainly says a great deal about how 'outsiders' sometimes see us or comprehend us.

with Midori last weekend- ropes

Obviously there's a lot to write, I'm going to try to keep this relatively short, actually.

Sir and I spent last weekend in Philadelphia going to classes with Midori thanks to Passional. Much as we would have liked to make the first workshop (blowjobs) traffic made that a pipe dream. So we enjoyed an nice dinner of wonderful Cajun food instead. Afterwards, we drove into Philly, settled into our hotel, unpacked read our mail, took a quick shower, and relaxed. All in all, a far more civilized start to the weekend than rushing around would have been. Later, we settled into bed together, talked for awhile, and then one thing led to another. Suffice it to say, Sir got me into one hell of a head space, and I slept really well.

Unfortunately, we almost slept too well, and ran a little late the next morning. Everything would have been fine, had we either done room service or not had to try two different restaurants before finally getting breakfast (the first was an ugly mob scene), but in the end breakfast was a nice dinner where I could bang my coffee cup happily enough.

Since we had not done workshops at Passional before it took a little 'pulling it together' to deal with parking (hint, the nearby lot, while expensive is the best bet) and then realize the workshop was not actually at the shop, but several doors down the street where they will soon be opening a second location. But in the end we got in before the workshop began with enough time left over to catch our breath. We were certainly not the last of the stragglers to make it in, and unlike some folks, we at least had to good sense enough to turn off our cell phones before the workshop began (oh pet peeve!)

So Saturday was rope day- two rope workshops, one on basic rope bondage, the other on body harnesses. The first was a good overview and the rope scene Midori did as instruction for our deconstruction was in a word, HOT. An ongoing theme throughout the weekend would turn out to be how much those participating in the instructional scenes seemed to enjoy the idea of being tied up or flogged by Midori herself. No doubt a certain amount of author/superstardom enters into it- at least for the audience members.

Midori herself happily identifies as somewhat of a "big dork" who is somewhat awestruck that this is her actual life. I can completely understand that. But both self identification and audience perceptions aside, Midori is an educator and has a wonderful sense of humour.

In any case, the first workshop in many ways was very much review for me, although I was interested in how she taught it, and how it would provide the basis for her second workshop.

Personally, I found Lee (Brigit) Harrington's rope bondage for sex at Ohio Leather Fest a little over a year ago a bit more practical for what I do.

That said, the second workshop, body harnesses, was probably the most useful part of the weekend for me. I'm a very visual learner and someone who enjoys learning by doing, so while rope books can teach me some things, it's more constructive for me to actually be in a hands on workshop space like that.

The other rather amusing bit (in both rope workshops, actually) was that we divided the audience into partner A and partner B, first partner A worked along with Midori showing the tie, then partner B got to follow along and also do the same. What this meant in practice was that first Sir tied me up and then I got to tie him up- something I'd barely ever done before.

Doing a full body harness on him was kind of interesting, not only from the power dynamic stance, but also in that even when I'm the dominant partner, I don't tie men up. (Not my thing). So naturally one has to adjust their ropes to the topography of their intended victim, errrr model. It made for an interesting, but ultimately confirmed for me, I'm not into being dominant with men. The very being with Sir in the first place, while not a complete fluke, is not my primary personal identification.

Body harnesses, though, are great fun. (And yes, when done right, they can look all 'domly' too, don't get me wrong!)

I once wore a lovely Hishi Karada (diamond pattern [rope] body [harness]) at a party after playing 'demo model'. This may not sound all that special, but at the time, the technique wasn't all over the place, it wasn't in easily accessed books, it wasn't as nearby at the net, there was no shibaricon, and simply put, it was something completely different, and it felt incredible. I was very honoured. At the time, here on the east coast, these techniques were in the hands of people who had learned them (sometimes out on the west coast, sometimes in other parties, etc) and they in turn taught them to other friends in spaces like private parties. Looking back, I'm realizing what a different time that was, and how special it was to actually have been running around that party back then in that harness.

It was also one of my first brushes with people at a party paying attention to me not for me as myself, but to me as an example of an artist's technique. Under normal circumstances, I'm not a party attention slut, but I don't mind that kind of attention at all- that being a living work of someone else's artistry.

So working through some of the harnesses, and some of the harnesses in Midori's book ("The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage") was very helpful. The illustrations came to life under my own fingers and ropes, and the end result (yes even on Sir!) was very gratifying.

I've decided to actually break apart the weekend into several posts, but I will add on last thing here on the "ropes" post. I'd been really interested in looking into Midori's 'Rope Dojo' (http://www.ropedojo.com/) despite the expense. (I understand it, I just don't know if I personally am willing.) So I thought these two rope workshops with her this weekend would be sort of a nice getting my feel wet. I'd see what I thought of her as an instructor, see whether or not I was enjoying the rope workshops, and whether or not I'd like to try to align my schedule and travel to someday spend a weekend doing the Dojo. If anything, I was a little disappointed I was missing her NY Dojo this Fall.

Well, it now having been a week since our Philly workshops, I'm very seriously considering the Dojo, and there's a very real possibility that one is coming to our area soon- knock wood.

I've also told Sir to pencil in Shibaricon in Chicago next year. It would make a nice birthday present- and we have many other reasons to get to Chicago, not the least of which being the Leather Archives and Museum.

A weekend with Midori

After much procrastination and indecision, Sir and I have decided to go to Philadelphia next weekend for a weekend's worth of four workshops Passional is presenting with Midori (there was a discount to attend the full weekend, so we decided what the hell). As to whether they'll be basic 101 'refresher courses' for us, or actually cover some new territory remains to be seen, but I usually tend to pick up at least a few new details no matter how many times I've seen similar material as each presenter tends to have a few bits and pieces unique to the way they teach.

In any case, the details-


* Sept 21, 7-9PM JoyStick Secrets: How To Please Your Man

Learn how to make him moan and writhe in unbelievable pleasure. Join internationally-acclaimed sex educator Midori for this in-depth training on orally pleasuring your guy. Using delicious practice props (think fruit!) you¹ll learn all about the sucks, licks, swirls, strokes and touch secrets that will blow his mind. She¹ll even cover tips on how to reduce discomforts or gag reflexes. What better gift is there than to show him your new techniques that very night?


* Saturday Sept 22, 1-3PM Hands-On Rope Bondage

Rope bondage can be simple, elegant, effective and sensual, but if you don't know how to do it right, it can be dangerous. Midori will teach you how to use this versatile bondage tool to maximize fun and minimize risks. Learn basic techniques including two-column restraint, body harnesses and creative positions. Midori is the author of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, and is an expert in safe and effective Japanese inspired rope bondage. Wear comfortable clothing and bring a minimum of 2 lengths of 15 feet and 2 of 25 feet of rope.


*Saturday Sept 22, 4-6PM Hands-on Rope Body Harness

Body harnesses are fantastic for creating beautiful, effective, and sexy bondage for all types of bodies and many different sorts of scenes. You can use a harness for very secure rigging. Or you can make a pretty rope outfit. Create intense harnesses for pain sluts. How about sensual breast bondage? Midori will show you at least 6 different varieties of body harnesses. You can choose the ones you want to practice with attentive supervision from Midori. Dress & Supplies: Wear comfortable clothing that allows freedom of movement. Bring a large towel or yoga mat if you¹d like to use the floor. And, of course, bring rope - the more, the merrier! (Suggested minimum: 3 or 4 pieces of 30 to 35 foot lengths, one piece of 50 to 75 foot length. If the rope is for a smaller person, bring the shorter lengths. For a larger person, bring the longer lengths.)

* Class_Sept. 23 1-3PM:The Sensual Whip: A Hands-on Workshop

Ah the flogger. It's often what comes to mind when we think of kinky sex, but picking one out and learning to use it can be quite a challenge. If you'd like to learn the skills of using floggers and get some tips on finding one that works for you, come join Midori for a hands-on evening full of useful tips. You'll learn how to find the toys that will create the sensations that you want and that will work for your body, as well as how to use them to deliver powerful sensations without fatigue. If you have a flogger, please bring it. Midori will bring plenty to try out so you can experiment with different types. Exercises will focus on motion and techniques. Think ³air flogging² and fun games to improve precision!


Addendum- Here's an article in Passional Magazine about this weekend with an interview