Preparation for Floating World III

(Nope, I still haven't managed to make time to write about Sex 2.0, nor a recap of our first Shibaricon. Slitherings has been having a quiet little Summer, even if we haven't.)

By way of more current events, in just under two weeks we will be traveling to our third Floating World event in New Jersey.

In the end, Sir made the decision to finally register, though we had reserved our hotel room some time back. It felt good to see this was something he wanted as well. In the end, I had left the final decision up to him.

It has all become just a bit intimidating in light of how large Floating World has rapidly become, but this year's event, (taking over the entire center,) should have a flavour all its own. I see many first timers planning to attend. We tend to feel more comfortable in somewhat more intimate events, but as we've been attending the Floating World from its beginnings, it feels an event that has been an important part of our history as well. We'll have to see how it feels.

In any case, I'm edging towards packing over the next few days, probably traveling fairly lightly this year. I'm starting in on the Leathers, making sure they're polished and shined, making the difficult choices about which tools we want to take, and trying to get into the headspace it takes to be ready to enjoy an event with well over a thousand people registered.

___

In light of what a brief post this is, I thought I might leave you with a visual treat; a website with plenty of links to a number of artists and and woodblock print images of Japan's Floating World, A Guide to the Ukiyo-e Sites of the Internet.

Such as this lovely offering from Ogata Gekko:

Late Summer/Early Autumn

I know, it's been a long time since I've posted. This after saying I was hoping to post more frequently. Worse, I left off on part 1 of what was to be a 3 part piece. I'll get to the rest of Floating World eventually, just not right this instant.

Sir and I have been incredibly busy as of late. I keep wanting to carve out some time to write parts 2 and 3, but ultimately other things are going by that I haven't written about out of trying to 'sit down and take the time it takes' to do those FW posts justice.

So for the moment I'm setting those aside and getting on with it, until I find time to come back to them.

Despite our hectic schedule, we did manage to attend an interesting BESS educational meeting back in August. The presentation topic was "Contracts, Collars, and Relationships." It gave us much to contemplate. I always find it interesting to hear someone who has put serious thought into how they do things and why.

The aftermath of seeing a presentation like that for us, tends to result in important discussions about our own structure and the how and why we do things the way we do, as well as how to bring further intentionality to parts of our relationship. It's probably very good for Sir to spend some time listening to others as he has seen fewer of these kinds of presentations than I have.

It's been part of my process of learning what I want and more importantly, learning how to articulate such after I figure it out. Part of good negotiations with any partner or potential partner comes down to not only knowing what you want but having the skill to speak clearly about such.

Inventories, assessments, Household protocols, petitions, contracts and other such written or verbal tools can be useful steps in finding the direction you hope to head, and refining your ability to express it to others.

Anytime I find the opportunity to look over the materials and tools others use, I usually find that time well spent. (With a few notable exceptions.)

The other major piece of news is that we've made the decision to return for Black Rose XXI at the end of the month. Several factors led to the decision, most of which, perhaps surprisingly, have little to do with Black Rose as an organization itself.

Over the Floating World, we spent most of our time in workshops relating to relationship structuring and yes to some degree workshops aimed primarily at the Master/slave dynamic.

Master and slave are not terms, nor necessarily a subculture, that resonates directly for the two of us as a way to describe our relationship. I tend to find it particularly jarring, as M/s dynamics hold very distinct Queer meanings for me, and yet I find myself in a relationship with man. I understand how so called 'het' Leather cultures utilize such (not that we consider ourselves a 'het' relationship by any stretch). But the terminology will probably always primarily hold Queer Leather associations for me, personally. Terminology aside for the moment though, Sir and I are finding many of our areas of interest overlap significantly with M/s end of things, certainly as opposed to other descriptive terminology such as D/s.

I am Sir's property/possession. We live this out our own version of 24/7. Submission is one of many components of our relationship, but not necessarily the single most important defining characteristic. Another important aspect is that we've been at this for quite some time now, long enough to settle into a relatively stable structure with set ways certain things are done.

So many of our workshop choices over FW focused less on proper singletail technique for example, and more on how we structure our lives and relationship within a Leather context.

But an events' worth of workshops focusing on such, followed by the many conversations that come in the aftermath of such sessions, over meals, late at night, etc, can lead to coming off an event somewhat emotionally exhausted if you're not careful. Fortunately, pacing ourselves was precisely what we did.

The upside has been that coming off Floating World we've been putting some intentionality towards structuring parts of our Leather Household that were a bit less defined before. Some of those conversations have also led to some good 'work' time spent together as well. Times we both treasure.

But the other side of such was that, it that led to really two things; not seeing as many workshops as we might have liked to and not seeing as many directly 'dungeon related skills' related workshops (think things along the lines of the finer details of proper skin stapling technique) as we might have liked to.

Going to BR XXI then becomes a way to attend some more 'skills-based' kinds of workshops. As it's all in one building, attending workshops or not, together or separately is certainly easy, and the dungeon is also close at hand. (I appreciate FW's arrangements for its own reasons, just as I appreciate insular events like BR for their own, they're both very different.) Finally, and perhaps most importantly it's an opportunity to spend time with others in our local community.

While we both tend to focus on our own Household, I guess I've been feeling just a little bit more social as of late, and interested in connecting with others locally. Events like BR then become a way of putting one's toe in.

Floating World II, Part 1 (Thursday and Friday)

We're back from Floating World a week now, and I'm only now settling back in enough to even begin to write about it all. We've been busy all week catching up with friends, going to meetings etc. I've spent some of this week reading what others have written about their experiences at the event. Naturally, I'm still feeling a bit 'spacey', not just from the event itself, but some of the things we did over the event, as well as some of the ways in which we're bringing parts of what we learned there and felt there home with us.

In many ways it was a really wonderful weekend for us, partially due to the event itself, and partially in that it was an important time for the two of us as well. Unlike many events where we have focused on gaining or practicing skills with tools, this ended up being a very relationship focused set of workshops for us. We didn't really make all that many of the presentation time slots offered as somewhere between eating, sleeping, and yes, fucking, we did a lot of talking and 'processing' some of what all we were seeing.

I'm not setting out to really go into great detail the about event in this as that would be a massive task, but also in that I think there are parts of the magick in the not knowing everything and every detail.

One small detail I should mention though, is that Sir doesn't always wear the token I gave him for our anniversary but through the course of the weekend, he made a point of keeping it on, reminding himself of who and what he was, and that meant a great deal to me. It's always significant to both of us when he wears the bracelet (despite him very definitely not being a jewelry person) and his steadfast not only wearing it, but enjoyment of it, meant a great deal to me.

It's been really amazing to watch him grow into who and what he is and gain confidence in such. I'm very proud of him, and this weekend, we felt very solid in many many ways. (Perhaps I'll write on that more later.)


Thursday

At home during the day, despite our best efforts we found ourselves amidst a packing ordeal and the gravity well that home sometimes can be. It took us much longer to get out than either of us intended. (While it was both of us, in this case I readily take the blame.) It was not the start we had hoped for.

We had made a point of getting in Thursday evening so we'd have a little time to settle in. In the end, we found ourselves in actuality getting in late Thursday due to ongoing road destruction, but then avoiding as best we can getting ensnared in road destruction appears to be another Floating World tradition of ours.

We settled into the host hotel (this year we had decided to stay at the main hotel), I unpacked, wiped the boots one last time and read a little before finally turning in. Even though we were both excited we both managed to get a good night's sleep before the event was really in full swing.


Friday

The next morning we got up and headed out for a good breakfast with lots of coffee before the first workshop at 2pm. The vendor's room was not open Friday so we focused on workshops and time together instead.

The first session was a presenter I had seen last year at Black Rose XX, but Sir hadn't so we went together so as to compare notes later. I think he got a bit more out of it than I, but that was fine. I took plenty of notes and found myself settling in. The topic at hand was moving from a BDSM centered relationship to a Master/slave based relationship.

I think for a lot of people they find a starting place and after a time come to one form or another of 'there must be more than this'-ism. The coming to plateaus and trying to find new ways of living it MORE or DEEPER is something I frequently find more of in the het leather community. (Although the session presenter himself was certainly not straight.)

This may be one place where being Queer Leather sort of made it a bit easier for many of us in that we have had role models living out forms of an M/s dynamic around us almost from wherever we started. Even the brief interludes in (mainly Gay) Leather bars and clubs I managed to occasionally be accepted in, being surrounded by and having as friends day to day living breathing examples of both Masters and slaves living out their respective roles was in some ways commonplace.

It's also worth noting that I'm glad to see Sir having an opportunity to hear more Queer voices in this. It helps him understand the culture I come from, and see in living practice some of the traditions and strengths of those who having already crossed certain thresholds at times find crossing some Leather thresholds as a 'second coming out' that much the easier for it. It is very easy for me to find presenters coming at it from some variation on a male/female dynamic, it is less easy to find spaces and events wherein Sir can intentionally expose himself to Queer Leather voices and traditions.

One of the things I've come to treasure most about the Floating World events is the cross pollination between communities, presenters, and perspectives. I consider it one of the event's core strengths. It is also part of what makes it one of the more comfortable events for me personally, in that in certain ways I end up difficult to categorize, and Leather spaces that enable such, to their very core definition, can be few and far between.

The second session ended up being my mistake. Not in that the presenter was a mistake, but in that I had intended to end up at the workshop that later went on to become the focus of some external attention. I was interested in attending not in that it's my particular kink, but in that I am interested in how we as a 'community' however loosely that may be defined are handling some of the broader cultural issues involved. (Those who know what I'm talking about know what I'm talking about, those who don't, well, so be it.)

Instead we ended up in a sensory deprivation workshop, which while pretty much review for us, was probably one of the few more dungeon practical workshops we made it to all weekend. Surprisingly, we attended very little by way of dungeon tools related sessions this year. By the end of the weekend I was feeling a little annoyed in that I do go to these events to learn skills and techniques as well as about structuring relationships and interpersonal dynamics and I was beginning to feel that lack of balance in what we were attending. This is one of the reasons we are now beginning to contemplating attending Black Rose this fall, no decision has been made on that front yet though.

Missing the intended presentation was likely a result of neither of us having spent time studying the schedule in depth in advance. I had looked over the workshops and presenters and I knew what all I hoped to see, but I had not had time to study the schedule itself in advance.

I'm still kind of kicking myself, but this is perhaps the primary 'problem' I have with the Floating World, there's simply too much good stuff going on all at once. There are easily sessions where I want to be in three or even four presentations at once. When in doubt, I try to choose things I haven't seen before, presenters I haven't seen before, and topics that I hope will stretch me or provide me with new perspectives to ponder.

The other psuedo 'problem' we also run into is scheduling meals. We tend to have those deep discussions over meals during events and utilize such as time to sort of compare reactions to what we've just seen. While we could just grab something simple on site, or nearby, we find we enjoy the event more when we actually take the time to step back, get a good meal, and 'process' at least some of the details between one set of several sessions and the next. So we sometimes find ourselves sacrificing presentations or presenters we want to see to fit that food, sleep, sex and processing around such (although be sure to note, those are definitely not in order of priority!). As the Floating World often doesn't particularly schedule a meal break, we make difficult choices as to what gets sacrificed, for this year anyway. With luck we may be able to catch similar next year or at another event elsewhere.

So we spent Friday evening over a nice dinner, talking about some of how, no we aren't people who do this at only events or on weekends or sometimes, this is our lives, yet at the same time we don't utilize some of the linguistic cues others who also live as Owners and property do. Nor do we utilize the constant ritual forms, although we certainly have our own daily rituals. Our protocols are often unwritten but there none-the-less. Our life together up to this point has made much of that very complicated in that with the travel and all, we often don't have the consistency others find helps structure their relationships.

It's possible that straightforward predictable 9-5 jobs are far more conducive to these forms of structured relationships than our lives. Not that what we live is in any way 'not ok' (I certainly wouldn't trade such) but in that it takes a certain flexibility and willingness to adapt as as schedules fluctuate. It can take a great deal of intent and focus to maintain not only the symbols and actions, but more importantly the headspace to live it out.

Now all these years in, we're beginning to quantify some of what it is we're doing and formalize parts of it that before now have perhaps not been as explicit precisely due to that schedule instability. Mainly though, we're both very aware of how in so many ways we are already living out so much despite the ever changing nature of our time together. This was to become an ongoing theme for us through parts of the weekend, that yes, we are doing certain things very successfully, though it may not always feel like such at the time. And those realizations also led to some very real confidence in what we're doing and how it works for us.

So we try to make time to talk about what we're seeing together, while also trying to pace ourselves so we can enjoy a fair amount of the weekend. By the end of the event, I sometimes feel I've missed a great deal, but neither of us are really up for going full bore, I don't think we'd get as much out of the events if we did.

Much as every time I turned around I saw another shuttle van (at the hotels at the venue, etc) we ended up taking our own vehicle back and forth if only in that it makes those trips out a little bit faster sometimes. That said, I think the shuttles are really fantastic, and had I been on my own a bit more over the weekend, I probably would have utilized them to get over to another workshop or two where Sir could have caught up with me later.

Later on Friday evening, we wandered the meet and greet just a little and I spent a little time at the Queer &LGBT meet-n-greet. There are still times and places I'm somewhat reserved in these spaces, particularly with people I don't know, but I did spend some time speaking with a very lovely couple, and there was appropriate oooooooooing and aaaaaaahing over some incredible tattoo work. In time though, I decided to head on out.

While Sir and I could have explored the Master/slave meet-n-greet, that isn't quite it either. It's not language we utilize, and not quite the way we structure our relationship, although we are finding that the M/s community is where we're most likely to find people discussing many of the issues and finer points that we end up on as well.

In the end, we went up to our room, fell into bed together and spent a little over an hour enjoying some rough sex. Sir pulled my hair and held me in place and took. It was exactly what I needed.

I don't know whether this was more a reflection of some of the conversations we had been having or more the feeling of freedom wherein in these times and spaces, being ourselves is perfectly natural. All I know is we felt close to one another and wanted each other and that at the time it was more important than anything else going on.

Later, we rushed through the shower and headed back for the final workshop session of the evening. Being late night people ourselves, the idea of a 10:30-midnight session was fine by us. I wish more events would begin to realize not everyone is all that interested at 9am sessions.

In any case, we decided on Lee Harrington's workshop on "alternative" relationship structures, and some of the language and concepts behind such. We had first seen Lee at the Ohio Leather Fest many years ago and really enjoyed the presentations. Being somewhat of a language wonk myself, I enjoyed this one as well.

One of the main points we came away from the session with, which was very much along the lines of our own thinking, is that whatever you are, however you identify, one of the important aspects of such is a form of intentionality about such. Be who you are, and know what you are, and how that lends itself to being able to better articulate what you are looking for and what your needs and wants are.

I also thought he did an excellent job of pulling apart jealousy and envy in poly relationships, and how a careful examination of the language used and why can lead to differing solutions. Saying what you really mean can help untangle some of those issues and get to the core of what it is you really need.

Afterwards we spent a little time in the massive dungeon space but decided to head back to the hotel to spend some time together instead.

Apparently I never got around to writing about it, but over last year's event, we had come back one evening and spent some time doing some beautiful and intense sensory deprivation training. It was a very important part of the event last year, to me at least, and was a memory I treasured from that first event.

This year, we came back to the room and Sir gave me another gift of an evening, hearkening back to that special memory. It was precisely the right way to begin the event, and by the time we both fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning, I think we were both very glad we had decided to make the trip.

Travel and household notes

It's been a bit since I last posted. I've been quite busy.

Sir and I are just back from three days out at the Shore, a micro vacation of sorts. Days of lazily enjoying the beach, nights of rather intense lovemaking. All in all, I've come home very relaxed and happy, that post good sex glow that seems to leave me floating through the day or days after.

We had originally intended to spend some time out at the beach working with some rope. Books to study and be inspired by and hemp were packed, all set. But we never quite got around to it. No doubt we'll find some time to 'practice' before Shibaricon, it's just these particular days had a different flavour to them- more spontaneous.

That said, several potentially rope related good things have finally come together here around the household. The first being some years ago we had purchased a cast iron bed frame with the original intent being that it would be for a bedroom area off a 'dungeon' sort of area. Well, that part of the house got 'commandeered' for other projects so to this day, we are rather 'dungeonless'. The bed frame sat, still in boxes for years, (in no small part probably due to the fact that the other beds around the house are four posters.)

Instead of waiting for everything to come together the way I wanted, I finally simply decided I'd rather have it up than in boxes, so the bed frame has now been added to a bed already in a spare bedroom. Why all the fuss? Tie points/anchor points. The bed frame is rock solid and a perfect 'canvas' to do rope work with.

While it may not be up in its final home, (wherever that will turn out to be,) it is a small step towards 'not waiting anymore'. That feels good.

The second potentially rope related bit of furniture has just arrived. After Floating World last year Sir and I sort of had an ongoing discussion about furniture, frames, structures, etc. As our primary work space is a bedroom, we've had to try to come to compromises about tools staying out, the advantages of things being close at hand, vs. tools being carefully stored in a very organized fashion for easy access. Structures have taken a bit of thought.

So for a first real piece of 'dungeon' related furniture, we've settled on a thermal and thickly padded top portable massage table. It folds away when we want it to, but quickly sets up and is wonderfully solid. We can lower it down to 24" if we choose, and it has plenty of good attachment points for rope or other such bonds.

Essentially, it will serve as a solid platform for everything from rope work to cuttings, canings to floggings. I often find I can take more lying down than standing bound to a frame. Lying down helps the muscles relax more, and it can be more comfortable for Sir as gravity does some of the work. Also lying down can protect against some forms of wrap (not that we seem to have a problem with such, I just thought I'd mention it for readers.)

So we have new bits of structure to try out. I'm excited to see what predicaments Sir's creativity puts me in.

In a final bit of news, we've registered for Floating World (II) in August. It's months away, but we're already looking forward to it!

On the importance of 'just being there'

This may seem a very pedestrian topic for a kink-blog entry, but sometimes it's the little things that are so often overlooked that matter so.

If I were asked for a list of 'duties' I perform, tasks or chores pertinent to my status as "property" I'd have to sit you down and explain at length how it's more complicated than that.

While I am in some ways submissive (and other ways, NOT), you would hardly mistake me for a 'service submissive'. That's just not the way we structure our (Leather) household. There are chores I tend to gravitate towards, and other chores Sir for the most part has staked out as what he does. There are also ongoing bits of the household that sometimes I do, sometimes he does, it's more dependent upon who happens to get sick of looking at it, and has the spare time to do something about it first.

I know, I know! Heresy! Unimaginable!

To dare even mention that Sir does household chores too? Why I must have broken at least 30 'the-one-true-way Leather Taboos!' (tm)

But our real Leather lives, unlike pulp novels or oh so many online MASTER-slavelings, are real. We live them, 24-7. And that means we deal with real world real things. What often goes unstated, is that in relation to the 'chores' each of us take on, the other does feel a sense of gratitude. Sometimes we express such, but usually, it lies just beneath the surface, each of us quietly aware that the things the other does for us help us, and make our lives as we live them together not merely easier, but in certain bedrock kinds of ways, possible. While not an egalitarian household, at times, it does share certain resemblances to a Leather 'partnership' of sorts. It's what works for us.

That said, I do make a point of making 'Sir's' bed.

Now that must sound odd. But as we sometimes run opposite schedules to one another, I am allowed my own rooms in addition to the primary bedroom we share. Recently, no matter what our sleep schedules may be, I've made a point of ensuring that when Sir comes up to bed, it's a neatly made bed.

That may sound perfectly obvious, and the kind of habit some people got in back when they were oh, say, 5, but for the two of us, living on our own as we do together, we tend to simply get up and hit the ground running and then tumble into bed at night.

If the downstairs is the at times more 'public' part of the household, the upstairs is more a private sanctuary. I suppose we're quite Victorian in that sense. The parlour is a place where our household intersects with the external world, the upstairs bedrooms are private spaces.

So I make the bed.

It was the first piece of furniture we bought together for the house, a big four poster King sized bed, (an updated) comfy mattress, and padding and sheets we picked out together, as a couple, when we were just beginning. We brought the bed home and assembled it ourselves. Some couples buy couches together first, we selected and assembled the bed.

And when we're home, not traveling, I tend to carve out the laundry as a part of my ongoing routine. Just as womyn for generations before me have cared for, mended, and laundered their beloved's clothing, I too, try to ensure, as one presenter at the Floating World last Autumn used as an example, when my Sir goes to reach for an item of clothing, it should 'just be there'.

What marks us as different, perhaps, is that when we do travel, (which is to say frequently,) while I may sort the piles, Sir himself tends to run the laundry. Sometimes I fold, sometimes we fold together.

But the laundry is simply part of the rhythm of that which needs to be attended to. Sometimes the ongoing 'chores' are less 'choreful' and simply part of that which must be done. At times, it's even possible to gain a certain satisfaction, or feeling that things are 'running well' based upon the ongoing rhythm of ensuring things are 'there when you reach for them'. I find it leads to more of a household sense of well-being, confidence, and yes, even control.

When things pile up and feel overwhelming, it lends itself to a things being 'out of control' sensation. Conversely, when things are simply where they're supposed to be, whether it's laundry or dishes, or mail sorted and filed it leads to a certain ease, comfort and sensation of things being 'under control'.

From that 'under control' springs a certain confidence in both of us.

Which yes, leads me back around full circle to sex-blogging. In that one of the very few 'duties' I perform, tasks or chores pertinent to my status as "property" is that of being sexually available to my Sir.

That when he reaches for me, I too am at hand, exactly where I should be. Physically, psychologically, etc.

(While yes, there is absolutely, a blog entry -or 20- in what being self described "property" means in my context, that being a Radical Feminist context, American legal context, etc, that's not about to happen today.)

At any time, I feel I could say "no" or "not right now", but in practice I next to never do (other than sometimes, when I'm still mostly asleep, and not thinking very clearly at the time.) Having the ability to say "no" (which is actually more a 'raincheck' than a "no",) that freedom to say "no", is part of what makes it secure and a confident "yes".

That may not be the way some Leather lovers arrange their relationships, but again, this is what works for us. We're both reasonably aware that when it comes down to it, I pretty much only say "no" in relation to extenuating, usually physical, circumstances.

In part, how we define some of my "duties" in this relationship are to be His, anytime, with the one caveat that communication of any extenuating circumstance is an inherent to such.

So last night, he both enjoyed me, and a well made bed.

This morning, I smile to myself with the satisfaction that things are 'running well'.

***

(Now, have I just equated sex to housework? Perhaps... if you really feel you MUST take it that way, but what I'm really referring to is the satisfaction of behind the scenes work, -yes at times good, hard work with one's hands with very quantifiable results- that goes into making parts of life feel 'effortless' and how such for us at least, tends to lead to the sense of well being and 'control' which can be at times so vital to our Leather/BDSM lives. It's a topic I see very little written about, particularly in your average 'how to Leather' books, yet it has everything to do with how we live this out 24-7.)

My Raincheck

So, by way of 'making up for' not getting the whips out over the course of a recent event, Sir had more or less given me a 'raincheck'. Which is what we finally got around to the other morning.

Sir was up early in the morning, and after I came down he eventually headed upstairs to shower saying maybe we could get around to something thereafter. I waited downstairs and went about my morning, not sure whether to expect anything or not. Eventually he called down and told me I was to come up to him.

I came to the big bedroom (which is also sort of our 'Work' room) to find him standing inside dressed all in black with a wicked grin on his face. (Eventually, I may get to a post about the room we primarily use, but for now, it will suffice to say it's "His" room, our bedroom, and clearly his domain. I have rooms of my own as well, although they are such at his pleasure.)

I stood outside the door and undressed (as it's the room I don't wear clothing in without explicit permission, one of our few rules) then by his permission, entered.

At the foot of the bed, there's a soft black bench with low arms at each end and lots of pillows; soft golden chenille and others with a shadowed black ornate floral orchid pattern. On days such as this, it is pulled out from the end of the bed, the pillows set aside, and the bench is then covered with a soft black sheet. It's just long enough for me to lie across comfortably, my head resting on one of the arms. Four black leather straps encircled each of the bench's legs, then come up towards the left and right raised ends. Across each end, Sir had attached two of the highly polished chrome spreader bars, each the width of the bench. On the bed laid several of my favourite whips, and the four black padded leather cuffs. Without saying a word, I knew what laid in store.

He told me to come around to the bed. Then lovingly, he buckled each cuff onto my limbs, first my wrists then my ankles. He crossed the room to the toolbox compartment organizers and pulled out four of the small nickel plated padlocks, then returned to me and proceeded to lock the cuffs onto me. This little 'ritual' of sorts in and of itself is enough to get me into a mindset.

(Soft black leather and shiny polished steel is very much our aesthetic. Metal and leather. Although somewhat ironically, I have no interest in many of the metal cuffs or collars we so often see. I suppose you could say we're both rather selective about our tools.)

He kisses me, and leads me across the bench, face down. Limb by limb, he clips the cuffs onto the spreader bars leaving me unable to escape, and a ready target. He ensures I'm comfortable, then disappears over towards the rack where we keep our whips hung. I'm not blindfolded, but I'm not sure I want to know, just yet, either. So I turn my head and close my eyes, giving over to him, and what he wants.

Anyone who has ever been sensually whipped can readily identify the two primary different sensations, 'thud' and 'sting'. For me, when I'm under Sir's whips, these two have two completely different effects. 'Thuddy' makes me sink, deep into a place where I've very inarticulate, but very pliant, and welcoming suggestion. 'Stingy' on the other hand, tries to lift me off of whatever I'm securely attached to, and leaves me fighting myself, begging for it to stop, and sometimes crying. (This does NOT however mean I actually want it to stop.) Each of these are their own head (and body) trip. It takes someone with a particular sense of timing and ability to 'read' me to combine them both over the course of a brief period. Neither of these are things I entrust to people I don't know well, as both leave me very emotionally raw.

Sir is one of the few people I know who can make me change gears as it were, between the two, and still leave me in a state where I actually enjoy it. Unfortunately, it's not something I find I can do often, and it takes both of us being in a particular state of mind and comfort to actually pull it off.

In any case, without telling me that was what he was about to do, that was the state he worked me into. Working from whips that can, when used a particular way feel more akin to a good massage, on to whips that once I'm warmed up, yes I can take, even though it's a most peculiar kind of enjoyment.

Back at the Floating World, we had found a flogger made of the satin cord it seems every kinky person has worked with or made something out of at some point. Just ordinary fabric store cord carefully woven into a nicely formed handle that felt good in my hand with a bazillion purple satiny tresses. The reason it came home, though, was that each of the tips had been carefully dipped repeatedly in 'tool dip', the rubber coating for tool handles. The balance was nice, and I knew instantly that those tails would sting horribly.

Well, I was right. And THAT will teach me to pick up a tool, having it in mind for use with perhaps a pretty girl somewhere in my future. I should know better. And I should know that just as I was always taught, before you use a tool on someone else, you should have it used upon yourself, so you know, down in your bones what it's capable of. While ultimately, of course I'm fine with all of that, it being the way things are done, and it is simply to be expected, I did not however expect this particular tool this particular morning.

Which led to many cries of "I hate that whip!... Don't stop."

By the time my morning's ordeal was 'over', I was very 'floaty'. Sir released me from my bonds at the bench and let me lay across the bed. We spoke briefly, and then he very matter of factly went over to the small table in the corner and returned with several sets of adjustable clamps with which he heightened my neediness beyond excruciating.

Then he removed them, and left me unfulfilled. He allowed me the cuffs for the rest of the day (actually, I slept in them that night only taking them off the next morning.)

The lovely anguish that is being left afterwards is not something I would normally enjoy. But with him, after this in particular, it was wonderful, feeling that ache combined with the soreness from the whips earlier, it left me constantly aware of HIM as I drifted through the next day or so. It's that awareness, that feeling of being owned, posessed, taken somewhere I rarely go with anyone with trust at the core of it that I treasure above all else.

Corsetry

So to backtrack a bit, finally, as I mentioned, after we attended the Floating World we went to Philadelphia for an afternoon for some corset shopping at Passional, (as their specialty is corsets.) It was our first time actually visiting the shop, despite the fact that over a year ago at the Ohio Leather Fest we had found several treasures from them. One being a lovely black satin waist cincher, the other being the piece I wear ever minute of every day, the titanium band locked around my wrist, that I wear as a form of 'collar'.

When last we were out in San Francisco, we had wanted to try to set a custom corset fitting at Romantasy, but in the end our timing didn't work out. Eventually, we hope to have a custom piece created, made to my curves, but for now, we decided to look into what would or would not work in terms of a prefabricated piece. So we spent some of our afternoon trying on a variety of leather corsets, until we were certain we had found exactly the right one.

It is described, thusly on their website-

"Underbust Corset- Black 100% genuine calfskin leather. Constructed with 26 flexible spiral steel stays, a steel busk, 4 steel bars in the back to support the grommets and 2 steel bars adjacent to the busk in the front. The outer fabric is laminated to a cotton twill fabric and then lined again with a cotton fabric. Laced with black shoe lace and includes garter belt loops."

Simply put, it's lovely. And it feels exquisite.

Since returning home, we have been slowly 'breaking it in', letting it adjust to my shape and letting me adjust to it. In time, we will begin to lace it more tightly. Yet even without the tight lacing, the compression and change in posture feels wonderful.

All of which, I suppose has been the background leading up to the lovely afternoon we spent two days ago. Sir and I enjoyed an early afternoon up in our room; talking and holding one another, then lacing me into the leather corset, toying with me on black satin sheets, working a cold steel tool into me, and finally making love to me.

An uninformed onlooker might mistake such as not that far from 'vanilla' sex, but I assure you, this had as much to do with what was happening between my ears as what was happening between my legs.

Corsets are not fashion to me, they have everything to do with fetish, and only so much more so for being constructed of the soft black kidskin. I don't consider this leather I have earned, but it is leather my Sir places upon me, and I wear with pride and pleasure.

"Elephant Pee"

So today, Sir and I headed down to the "Leather Flea and Play" or LF&P, (which yes, gets transmogrified into "Elephant Pee") at the Crucible in DC. They throw this little shopping expedition and playtime twice a year. Sir and I, this time around anyway, decided to stick with the shopping. Maybe, if we knew a few more folks or some as of yet indeterminate 'something', come next march we might consider getting a nice hotel in the area and yeah, staying for the "play" (Oh how I LOATHE that term in this context). This time out though, we made just a small trip of it.

We saw all of two people we recognized, and no, I don't think either recognized us. In the decade or so we've been away from some of what grew in DC lots of people have moved on- not surprising, but interesting, in that there are so FEW left.

I spent the night before polishing Sir's boots to a nice shine, so he woke up to them in the morning. It seemed to make him happy. For me, on some level, it's just what I do, but on another level, I take a certain pride in doing these things and doing them well for him. It sort of occurred to me at some point, as I was working with the saddle soap, that even were another girl come into our household and become an ongoing part of our lives, I'm not sure I want anyone other than myself working on Sir's boots. An odd thought really.

In any case, shopping at the elephant pee wasn't particularly interesting. The only high quality whips I had any interest in were at Passional's area, and honestly, were too similar to pieces we already had, and seemed "too light" to my hand. I'm really starting to wonder who's still making good solid quality whips, and whether or not they make public appearances on this coast? I'd still like to 'finish out' Sir's set, but I haven't found anyone I'd trust to get it right.

But, we found some micro panic snaps, which, size-wise struck us both as perhaps useful. I picked up an extremely basic little knife and many, many yards of "Raspberry" MFP rope, and finally some in the thinner diameter, too. We picked up more of the black pallet wrap and a couple of rolls of purple vetrap, just on good measure- replenishing supplies after the Floating World, so to speak.

So we had a nice afternoon; we wandered, we half-heartedly watched a girl experience a suckee bed for the first time, and we talked a little with the 'newcomer' volunteer with BESS, the Baltimore Education and Social Society. BESS is a little too "SSC" for my taste, but it looks like we're finally going to at least wander into a meeting and see what we make of it. It always weirds me out when someone asks "which mailing list did you hear about us on?" because, of course, that's not how I learned about the group. Turns out they're 6 years along now. They fall squarely into that time after I had left Baltimore.

Sir and I had already decided to attend their meeting on the 19th, when they are doing their 1/2 hour newcomer orientation followed by a "knifeplay 201" workshop. So I guess we'll see what we see.

One of the main things about the LF&P that struck us both? How young the crowd was. And in my case, well, how Het the crowd was- some exceptions, but not enough.

Life goes on

Well, despite the fact that I haven't found time this week to really write about all the Floating World experiences, life has been going on, and other things have been happening. So I'll eventually come back and do a FW recap, but for now I'm just going to fill in a few other bits.

Sir and I have been nesting here in the aftermath. The first few days home my shoulders and behind were sore, and he was taking a fair amount of pleasure merely in giving me a back rub or the occasional swat. It's a good event when the 'afterglow' lasts well into the week. There are also slightly less pleasant 'aftermaths' such as trying to get white face powder off the nice black leather blindfold. Good thing I got a nice big tub of saddle soap.

Monday evening, we got out the corset from Passional (yes, I am ahead of myself, I will go back and tell the story later), and I got to run about for part of the evening with it on, but not tightened down, not the first few times anyway, it needs time to adjust to my body and the wearing. But it was wonderful.

The room is finally back together, all the whips are rehung, tools cleaned and neatly put away. Other than the neatly folded basket of Sir's laundry that needs to be put away, everything is back in order there.

So we spent part of the week getting back together, and part of the week yearning for some alone time. I was spacey and flighty for much of the early part of the week, and clearly the event carried over for Sir as well.

Two new 'rules' were also made this week- one about when he's out of the house, the other being he finally gave me a place to put my hands while I await his attention- if he's programming, or reading, or such. They may seem small things, perhaps long overdue, but I think he's beginning to realize some of these particular small things matter.

Finally, Saturday night we went upstairs and made some time for training. We got out some of the leathers and let me lie quietly with my own thoughts, or not. Across the room, Sir read for a bit, then came over and tormented me. It was both a rather quiet evening, and full of intensity. I'm very content.

The last 24 hours I've felt very calm and happy.

Home from the Floating World

My head is spinning with all that this last weekend was. At the moment, I'm exhausted, but also very excited and hopeful. We had a very good weekend!

Sir and I finally got to some of the conversations and some of the particular 'doing' we've been working toward for a long time now. We didn't make very many of the (WAY overscheduled!) workshops, but I must say, the ones we missed, we usually missed for all the right reasons.

On the way back home from the Floating World, we made a stop in Philadelphia at Passional, and that is a story in and of itself, although right now, it has to be a story for another day.

So yes, LOTS of writing to do. At the moment, though, I'll just leave it at our safe return home and the fact that I would write more, but I'm simply too tired.

Morning after

We're still at the Floating World, today is the kinky Ren Faire and the dog and pony show :)

I'm feeling wonderful right this moment. I ache. We spent some time in a nice dark corner of the dungeon last night, and I have happy marks.

But the real news is that yes, one of the kimono came out last night, and I seem to have made some people happy. As I mentioned to Sir, the event was starting to become all talk, no Geisha, so we had to remedy that. (Although, I'm guessing we'll be seeing some kimonos today at the Ren Faire.)

In any case, I need to get moving, but things are going well on this end.

Presentation of Leathers and final preparations

Much has been going on this last week.

Last night Sir and I finally made some time for ourselves. I'm really glad we were able to find time for that before we left for the event.

There is lots of other news, first and foremost being my gift to Sir made it here before the event, so to mark our ten years together I presented him the wide black belt two nights ago. It looks really good- just I knew it would. As I've said, Sir isn't much into 'the look', he has his own style, but just catching a glimpse of him running around in his boots makes me happy.

My own 'replacement' jacket has also come in, so two nights ago Sir helped me into the jacket, and then the new vest (which will be set aside until I've earned it). It feels so very odd to have new, unbroken in leathers going into this event, but that's ok. I know that there's actually a decade of jacket behind this new one, and that's all that really matters. Last night, in the afterglow, Sir placed the new jacket around my shoulders and I felt very 'at peace'.

The cards are finally all completed, and I'm up to doing last minute laundry. Tonight's task will be carefully packing and loading all the odds and ends into luggage and then into the truck. If there is time, I'm still working out a particular playlist on my iPod, but I don't know that I'll get that far.

Sir seems so much more relaxed about all this than I do, but other than the packing frenzy, we're both completely on the same page about this event. It feels really good to know that we're not pulling opposite directions on this. I have no idea if the workshops will actually be useful, or if they'll merely piss me off, but I'm willing to try, walking in completely open to the possibility of this being a REALLY good event.

After last night, I'm already kind of 'floating'. Today, I'm in a really good mood and I feel like I can tackle all that needs to be done between now and when we leave. I woke up early and just jumped right into the day.

Preparations underway

So today's task was cleaning and polishing Sir's boots (and mine). I'm getting gear and tools ready to be packed, and so spending some time making sure his boots look their best was a priority. I find the slow, methodical working on something so concrete, that shows such measurable and immediate results very rewarding. It also puts me in a certain frame of mind, a focus, or concentration, very detailed and perfectionist. Caring for our leathers feels good.

I've ordered up a few odds and ends to help with the packing, or to organize, so hopefully, they will be at the mailbox waiting for us today. Honestly, I'm feeling somewhat overwhelmed by all that I need to do and get together before we leave for FW this weekend, but at the same time, it gives me something to work towards.

I'm also hoping my gift to Sir will have arrived, we'll have to wait and see.

The other small detail is that I've been working on 'cards' of a sort to hand out as the need arises. I'm not one much on 'business cards', particularly in these situations, but a calling card of sorts can be appropriate. So I've ordered some postcards from Japan, I have some ink stamps, I'm working up a small printed piece with my name and contact info, and I'll probably complete them with my hanko stamp. I can't quite anticipate how they'll be used yet, but having something on hand seems appropriate. I've been contemplating how much information to put on them, which information to put on them etc. As I said, it's a small detail, yet it feels important to get it some level of 'right'.

My work on all the small tasks relating to packing, preparation, etc are helping Sir continue some of other important work he's been doing, so right now anyway, I feel very 'of use' to him. Again, it's a good feeling.

Today was also special in that despite, or perhaps due to the rainy greyness outside, it's like mutual of Omaha's wild kingdom outside, birds and other critters everywhere! I've decided to take it as a bit of a 'positive sign' going into this.

Registered for Floating World

We're set. We registered a few days before the deadline. I have both excitement and a certain trepidation. This will be the first event we've been to since the final Ohio Leather Festival (OLF). I'm slowly packing the gear and making preparations.

We've been talking a great deal about what it means that the "pro" community has interwoven so completely with with the more general community- particularly around events. It has changed so much from 'back in our day'. Add in the net and the publishing boom and cliched as it may seem, everything's different now. And it's all so public and accessible. I don't know that we're adapting well.

In any case, today has been good. I'm sitting here writing in my large padded cuffs, and we spent some time this afternoon doing WIITWD. (Yeah, I know, a "net term". I'm not thrilled, but I'm linguistically stuck.) We are still struggling to find language- "play" certainly doesn't cut it, but we have no word of our own for it.

In any case, now that the room is 90% together-ish, we're just starting to enjoy the tools at hand. I'm teaching (from the "bottom") certain things- certain touches, how much time it takes to process, different ways of using the tools, and how my body reacts. Sir is still very much in control, but the room has become a laboratory of sorts, where we can experiment, learn from that, and then go forward.

All these things are things that had the first decade been what normal kinky people do, we would have spent more time on long ago, but us being us, well, this is where we are right now. Lots of new tools to work with and learn what they are capable of of.

We spent time talking about some of the tools and the Artisans who made them and how some of them don't anymore, or have died. Shops have been bought, people have moved, things have changed a great deal, and much of it is not without a certain sadness. It is an honour to provide homes to such tools.

In a sense, it's not dissimilar to the point in Japanese tea ceremony where the guests learn the history of the objects, the Artisan who created the pieces, their age, where they come from. Sir and I and our collections now comingled, have a similar feel.

Along those lines, there is one last bit to report; I earned my jacket many years back- from Sir, but time has passed and we've both changed through the years. So, in prelude to the Floating World, Sir has procured a new jacket for me. While it will be odd to wear 'new leathers', unbroken in, new too is a milestone for us, and in this case, it's merely an update to more appropriate on a piece I earned long ago.

I have also gotten him a ten-year demarcation of sorts- a wide leather belt from Mr. S.. Sir is not particularly into the 'wardrobe thing', but this was an appropriate gift, and a way to mark our first decade together. "Look" is FAR less important to him than comfort, he is who he is and he has no one to prove anything to.

The really exciting news is that in addition to my jacket, Sir has also ordered a leather vest for me- although I've not earned it yet. I may or may not earn it before the event, either way, it is about us, not the event. I'm overwhelmed, and honoured. And most of all, I'm wondering what he has in mind! I can but daydream, hope, and look forward to what that process might be.

The Floating World, in New Jersey?

Well, at least *A* Floating World of sorts.

Once it was decided that there would be no TESfest this year, various organizations got together and decided to throw an event of their own as a community event; by the community (not one group but many groups) and for the community.

Thus their modern (re-)interpretation of the Floating World of 17th century Japan has been transposed to New Jersey for the duration of the event. Floating World.

We are considering attending, have a hotel room booked etc- but still cancel-able.

Unfortunately, it's not as simple as all that for us, much as I wish it were. There are still certain, shall we say, psychodramatic aspects we are weighing under careful consideration.

* * * * * * *

It's now 24 hours since I wrote the above, and it's looking like we have both agreed- we will register for FW at some point this week.

I'm both excited and somewhat concerned. But ultimately, for both of us, our curiosity and our hope outweighs our trepidation.

Now all we have to do is prepare and hope for the best.